February 23, 2011

Haiga 508 Yosa Buson haiku 18


Haiku by Yosa Buson. Artwork by myself.
I knew this haiku from my elementary school days. After I started making haiga, this haiku was one of the first to challenge, but somehow I was not satisfied with the result. I redid and redid.
I am now pretty comfortable with this one, though I might work on it again.

Japanese version is read: Haru(spring) no(of) umi(sea) hinemosu(all day long) no ra ri no ta ri(onomatopoeia of sea water movement) kana

One difficulty I faced and worked again and again is "no ta ri no ta ri" part of the haiku. It is the movement of the spring waves: repetitious, slow, languorous movement. Even though it is mentioned in the haiku, I wanted to show it visually so that the image alone can convey the feel.

5 comments:

Devika said...

conveys the gentle flapping of waves, Kuni-san...but i feel the image...has kind of a precision along the edge, that is slightly interceding with the eye...may be because of that protruding strip...it can be seen as a contrasting element?

all this thoughts came because you said you were reworking...but since the haiku was kind of submerged and not easily readable i was trying to figure what the theme of haiga was about....and failed until i read?

just sharing my thoughts, Kuni-san...from a student's view point :)

wishes,
devika

Devika said...

i am still not sure if i should be saying all that to the master of haiga art...but as you always advocate, Kuni-san...thought of opening up :)

when i look at the image, it also strikes as flapping of slippers...though the continuum into the sea takes away the idea...may be thats why i found it slightly not resonating...again, it was an ineresting haiku-art combo that made one think more....that haiku is really simple too :)

wishes,
devika

kuni_san said...

Devika san: Thank you for good input. Your commets are always welcomed.
It is natural that human eyes make association shapes like wave shape to slipper.
Curving, sweeping lines here represent not the shape of waves, but the movement itself. In this haiku Buson talks about big mass of sea water moving, not the flapping of waves. It is more like swaying.

kuni_san said...

BTW, I darkened the haiku verse so it is easier to read now, I think.

Devika said...

Okay Kuni-san....Yes, its more clear now, and thank you for the clarifying note :)

after reading the haiku i was perhaps picturing the whole sea....and the gentle flapping of waves on a pleasant spring day...and hence got confused...but yes, contrasting elements make the haiga more effective,

wishes,
devika